London is the Best City in America

An empty nest still leaves a space

5 days ago
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A quick update for today because I seem to be perpetually tired. I don't know why but ever since DST here - almost two weeks ago - my body has gone into complete energy-less and constantly sleepy mode. It's not helpful. That said, last weekend in France was very relaxing and fun and this feeling of fatigue is just clearly something largely unrelated to non-work hours/days.

I have started my food writing course and it seems like it will be really fun. In conjunction, we have also finally started up our food blog - ta-da! - Saffron and Honey. It's still a work-in-progress but promises to be a great new way for collaborative writing (and cooking!). I will be posting the meals we have cooked recently on there very soon so go take a look around.

November leaves have started to fall in abundance. I feel like over the course of a few days, the entire tree that looks over my balcony has shed all of its foliage. I miss seeing the vivid changes of color, you don't really get that here, at least not in the city.

Tomorrow is bonfire day/fireworks night so I plan to go down to the river or to Clapham Common and wonder at it all with a little kid-like giddiness.

You say the words will get there soon

Oct 22, 2009
5 comments

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Okay, I'm back. Not that anyone was holding their breath...

Following all the computer drama, there was general life/work/family drama and, honestly, I just wanted it all to quiet down a bit before I wrote anything. Maybe I am spreading myself too thin too, with the writing, which is not really my intention. I have the book club blog and my Snob blog (in Russian) and we are starting a food blog with the girls once we come up with the name :)...

I am also starting my food writing course next week, which I'm super excited about.

It's easy to feel like you are getting 'written out' because I write so much at work. Even though it's a very different style and subject of writing, it still feels like writing so getting myself that extra motivation (and discipline!) will be important. I want to see if I can do this.

Writing doesn't have to be elaborate but it has to be effective - is I think the key lesson for any kind of writing.

I am baking pumpkin muffins tonight. Hopefully they turn out well and I'll then post pictures.

I also really want to go to Marine Ices right now. It's never too cold for ice cream.

I'm just the girl that you lost to champagne

Aug 22, 2009
8 comments

Some people have supremely well-adjusted lives.

I am so not one of those people. And yes, 'normalcy' is overrated and routines get boring, but I was never in danger of normalcy.

Because I look in the mirror all week and notice how much more I look like my mother every day and think about the extent to which that scares me. No one understands the extent to which that scares me.
I know by now that trying to 'save' her is something I have to deal with forever but even if I accept that, I haven't figured out how to stop that fact from permeating my entire existence. It makes me lonely - oftentimes - and unable to trust or confide in people or to let myself go. And, perhaps worst of all, it makes me afraid of the future - thinking that at some point it's entirely possible that I won't find the band-aid to hold it all together.

Anyway, I'm computerless for weeks now, otherwise I would post the marrow/zucchini pancake recipe and pictures.

I wish my upcoming trip home still filled me with excitement instead of cautious dread. And - no one take this the wrong way, please - I sort of wish I could go on a long, self-exclusionary trip to Pattaya instead. Funny how, on one hand, I wish I had more support but on the other hand, a sabbatical from everything may be nice too...

You got me pushing imaginary buttons

Aug 14, 2009
4 comments

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Do you sometimes wish you can just put the brakes on your brain/thought process to stop it from going - quickly, quickly - in a certain direction? Because I do. I am currently trying to make it happen. You'd think that if you were tired enough that wouldn't be an issue but, clearly, that is not working for me!

Anyway, I am back and, as ever, promise to write more often. You can read all about it over on the Competitours blog. Short story: we didn't win, it was still fun but somewhat taxing! This week of work following all the travailing and schlepping has been a bit rough on the old me.

I need some sea in my life. But what I really need is direction rather than say, inertia. Be somewhere where I can feel rather than just be.

I do keep saying that.

Travel really allows for that, no matter how exhausting it is, but if there is one thing I've decided, it's that you cannot keep running all your life. No matter how much of a wandering soul you have, everyone needs a place where they belong, where they are needed and not be constantly displaced. Where is that place and how soon can you get there is the running subtitle of life.

I think I'll be signing up for a Tufts writing e-course for the fall because why not. Also, baking challah this weekend and catching some movies and reading some neglected books. MLK Fisher is my new hero.

Karaoke last night was a bit of a disaster but, as the song goes, it's marvelous losing your marbles.

I only make jokes to distract myself from the truth

Jul 20, 2009
3 comments

You know that sort of coiling feeling you get in your stomach or in your chest or both? I only get it if I am not doing something I am supposed to be doing, or dealing with something I am supposed to be dealing with, or if something bad is about to happen.

And I hate it but, in a weird way, I really trust this feeling in myself.

I walked into your eyes without a raincoat on

Jul 8, 2009
1 comment

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I'm waiting for my laundry to finish making a racket and I am mostly done packing.

It's been a hell of a couple weeks is all I can say. Good thing I have a personality that pretty much self-inclines towards positivity, no matter most things.

But tomorrow I am off to New York to see people, some of whom I haven't seen in much too long, and to rekindle and feel full, and almost complete, and like me, positivity and all.

I'm not ready to turn twenty-five, not by a long shot, because yes, this was the number by which I thought I knew I would be somewhere, be certain, be set, have - that ugly word - direction. And yet I'm so not but I think that's okay. Now I am more concerned with how I really don't want to 'act-my-age' but do I ever? Maybe I should stop thinking about that too. I really do think too much. I'm almost never blank.

Let it rain.

Once I am back, I will tell you all about new recipes, the stack of books by my bed and about how you can be astounded about something you thought you knew everything about.

I'm pink and black and blue for you

Jun 28, 2009
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A bit of everything.

Horrid last weekend (stresscryingmotherdramagoingtoliveinthewoodsstresscrazyomgwanttokilleveryone) that ended on an upwards note with Wimbledon Russian bbq. Good start to the week full of tennis&tennis people and much time spent in sw19 instead of at work that ended badly and abruptly with grandma's stroke (she is looking better as of today..but one never really knows with these things). Great weekend in Juan les pins (sun-sea-crashed ecole de voile party-no sleep at all-pasteque is watermelon in french) that ended with me literally running after my plane just so. Closest call ever not w/Boston-NY train:).

Made it back to Londres, sunburned, adrenalin falling, Wimbledon tan lines somewhat evened out.

Mon dieu.

moments away, seconds too late

Jun 19, 2009
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Finally, the much-promised and advertised recipe for the best oatmeal cookies!

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Okay, so start with: 50g butter, 2 tablespoons sugar, 2 tablespoons honey. Put all of this into a medium-sized saucepan.

Stir and heat up to boiling.

Add a tablespoon of flour, remove from heat and combine well. Add 2 tablespoons orange liqueur (or orange blossom water!) and the zest of one orange. I also like to use candied orange peel.

orange blossom

Add 250 ml (1 cup) quick-cooking (whole) oats. Mix well.

oats & honey

mix

That's it, really! So drop cookies with a spoon on a piece of parchment. Depending on how much liquid/flavoring you put in there and how thick you drop the cookie dough, the cookies will vary in size, shape, thickness and crispiness. Don't skimp on the butter, there isn't that much of it in there anyway.

This is also one of those recipes where you can add/substitute whatever you like. I have to say though that I tried it with nuts and lemon zest etc and orange, so far, has been the best! The citrus definitely offsets the honey flavor well.

Bake at 180C for about 12 minutes.

mmmcookies

Dawn: [about M'Fashnik demon] I'm guessing on how you say it. It's got an apostrophe. I think it's MmmFashnik. Like "Mmm... cookies!".
Xander: Or maybe, Muh-Fashnik. Like Muh... Fashnik.

Voracious, did you say?

Jun 16, 2009
4 comments

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I know I have been really sucking at this recently. It's no fun when suddenly writing seems like a chore instead of a pleasure and you're so very tired.

I've been doing pretty well though, all things considered.

On the plus side: the past month has been crazy and hectic but very fun and filled with lots of memorable trips & happenings. It's weird.... it's like I enjoy doing these things to remind myself that I am young and this is the time to not sleep/travel/go crazy but then, in the end, it makes me feel old because I get so exhausted :).

I had a beautiful trip to the Hague last weekend, for example. It was a good cultural weekend [Escher, optical illusions, sculpture gardens, Festival Classique], no heavylifting, with Cat in my favorite a-village-in-the-shape-of-a-city place.

Other things:

My mom is coming tmrw. We will go see the Cherry Orchard finally on Thursday.
Wimbledon!!!!!!! So soon. Work interfering.
True Blood is back (and is it ever). ::heeee @highlights!::
Mainstream media is failing a little this week, no?
I read The Blue Hour (depressing), The Sweet Life in Paris (adorable) and The Ambassadors (every word is so good) on the train through Lille-Brussels-on to the Hague and back.